Vi's Resurrected.
Vi's Roadhouse 2.0 now open!
The grand opening was Friday night at Vi’s Roadhouse 2.0, and the crowd was even bigger than the throng that gathered for Vi and Edzel’s wedding that seemed a distant memory.
What few in Friday’s crowd knew – Vi had a much smaller, soft opening for the regulars the night before.
It was a bittersweet gathering.
Each had their own reaction to the all-new Vi’s.
Jimmy Jay: “Holy shit – any owner of a bar this nice’d never have me as a regular, THAT’S for sure.”
Edline: “Damnation! Fancy bar like this’s gonna bring in some upscale man meat for once.”
Cyril: “Vi’s gonna double the price of everthing now. Gonna need a second gig just to keep hangin’ out here.”
Augie: “Am I gonna have to wear a clean t-shirt to get in?”
Aggie: “Aw…this is a disaster,” while turning tail and retreating out the door.
Doc: “HoooooWEEE! Gonna have to watch my language here now.”
Jimmy Don: “Long as there’s no fuckin’ ferns, I guess I’ll get used to it.”
Dilly Klumpe: “Vi gettin’ a tad uppity? Arch, we gonna have to answer fer this with new carpeting in the motel rooms.”
Arch Klumpe: “We’re due anyways. Some of the puke stains on the first floor just aren’t goin’ away anymore.”
Amy: “Uptown FUNK YOU UP! Vi! You done hit us a grand slam!”
Edzel: “Well done, babe. Well done. Long as you don’t upgrade husbands too…”
Leon: “Sheeeeit. Imma be stuck in the kitchen 24-7 now. Place this fine an’ caucasianized? Only way I sit at the bar’s if I’s cleanin’ out the ash trays.”
Vi: “Leon, stuff it – you know there’s no smokin’.”
Leon: “Yez Miz Vi – I jes’ be happy knowin’ my place in such a FINE alabaster establishment. Now I go back in de kitchen an’ do what I’z paid to do! Thank you Miz Vi! Thank you, Mars’ Edzel.”
Vi: “Can I shoot him?”
Edzel: “Naw. I’ve grown fond of him. He’s like the red-haired step-child I’d never admit I had.”
Vi gathered the group together around the bar, treated them to a glass of champagne (“It’s really from France!” declared an astonished Edline who read one of the bottles), then poured generously for the next hour.
“YOU,” declared Vi, looking each of her friends in the eye, “are FAMILY. We been through the wringer together.”
She pointed her finger around the bar, taking in the new decorations, pool tables, video games, posters, decorations, then pointed to the two sets of circular stairs to the upstairs deck. “As far as I’m concerned, this is YOUR place as much as mine.”
JD smiled and raised his champagne glass. The others followed suit.
“We’re gonna grow,” continued Vi. “But how we act, what we serve, HOW we serve, will NOT change.” She smiled. “Otherwise, it wouldn’t be Vi’s no more.”
“Hear-hear” murmured Doc.
“I get to throw out the inaugural drunk!” piped up JD.
“That’s got my name all over it!” shouted Cyril.
“Go with your strengths, buddy!” agreed JJ.
Friday Night
For the grand opening Vi brought in two extra bartenders, positioning one upstairs at a temporary drink station. Downstairs Vi alternated with one of the temps behind the bar, spending the rest of the evening circulating, enjoying herself, receiving congratulations from Coffee County glitterati.
Edzel kept pretty much to his usual place, stationed at one end of the bar, Doc at his elbow – they were thoroughly enjoying the people watching.
Coffee County Circuit Court Judge Cyrus Blanke was in one corner, surrounded by several younger local attorneys eager to get in good with the jurist.
Edzel pointed to the corner. “Ol’ Cyrus ain’t touched his wallet once tonight.”
“He’s no dummy,” observed Doc. “A free drink doesn’t curry favor with a man like Hizzoner. Them youngin’s haven’t caught on yet.”
“Law school cain’t prepare a counselor for the likes of a Cyrus Blanke,” agreed Edzel. He turned to see Leon push through the kitchen door with a massive tray of finger food he deposited at one of the serving tables.
“Yo, Garcon!” called Ed. He caught the chef’s eye and waved him over.
“Edzel, was you aware I speak a little bit a French?”
Doc clucked his tongue, and Ed shook his head. Leon continued, “You know what Garcon mean in French?”
Edzel shrugged his shoulders. “I seen it used on Masterpiece Theatre. It was always some fancy dude calling over a waiter.”
Doc clucked his tongue again and waved for the bartender to get a longneck for Leon. “Ed, ah, you just called Leon ‘boy’ in French.”
Edzel’s eyes widened. “Well I’ll be fucked.”
Leon took a generous slug from his beer, winced, and looked at the label. “Dammit, Ed, don’t you know us boyz in the ‘hood only drink malt liquor??” He grinned and wagged his eyebrows at Doc.
“Looks like you’re on my tab the rest of the year, son,” Edzel murmured sheepishly.
Leon waved him away. “Naw. It was pure ignorance on your part, mah bruthah. You rednecks jus’ need Continuin’ Education.”
Doc clinked his glass of Dickel to Leon’s longneck. “Mighty white of you, Leon.”
Over at one of the bigger tables, JJ, Cyril, Edline, Aggie and Augie were killing pitcher after pitcher of beer. “We owe it to ourselves to land face down in the parking lot to christen Vi’s Roadhouse proper,” observed JJ.
Edline was busy scoping out the young attorneys circling the judge. “What’s a new attorney in Coffee County make?” she quizzed the others.
Cyril shook his head. “All I know is the pool at the apartment’s always full of them pretty boys on Saturdays. You always see on TV they’s workin’ late hours ‘n’ weekends practicin’ their speeches for in front of a jury? All I see ‘em do is work on they tans.”
Aggie nodded. “Momma always wanted me to be a lawyer. Said I’d save her a mint bein’ her attorney in her divorces.”
Augie smiled. “She was always thinkin’ of your best interest. She on husband number, what, six?”
Aggie raised his hand and flipped it sideways. “Technically number six. Buster’s number six, but he was also number three.”
JJ reached for the half-pitcher of beer. “Came back for seconds. I admire a man who can admit he made a mistake.”
In the other corner, the Klumpes were busy deep in conversation with Chief Cedar and his wife, Maggie.
“Vi ‘n’ Edzel done up this place right,” Maggie declared, taking in the new digs.
Dilly elbowed Walt in the ribs. “What you gonna do Saturday nights NOW, Chief? Place this fancy, your boys ain’t gonna get many calls to break up fights!”
Chief nodded. “I’m gonna miss that – NOT.” He sipped his drink and looked around. “Wonder where the riffraff’s gonna land now?”
“They already scattered after the place burned down,” said Arch. “I heard them bikers used to come in ever so often now took up at a place in Shelbyville.”
“Chief McCarron can have ‘em,” Walt declared of Shelbyville’s police chief.
Maggie reached up and kissed her husband on the cheek. “It’s been so nice havin’ him home near every Saturday night.”
Chief smiled. “It HAS been quiet. Part a me DOES miss a good roustin’ ever now and then, though. Wadin’ in to a smelly mess a humanity, growlin’ and givin’ ‘em the ol’ sap!”
“You know that’s how we met?” Maggie looked at Arch and Dilly.
“What?” an astonished Dilly exclaimed. “He arrested you in a bar?”
“Naw. He took down my boyfriend at the time. Best thing ever happened.” Maggie leaned over closer to Dilly. “Walt even planted a couple a joints on him to keep him in jail.” She rolled her eyes and fanned herself. “It was SO ROMANTIC!”
Back at the bar, Vi stood, her arm around Edzel. The two of them and Doc scanned the crowd. Not only was the evening a success – it was a great, drama-free night.
“And not ONE open flame!” exclaimed Doc.
Edzel hung his head. “I seen enough fire and smelled enough soot ‘n’ smoke damage for ten lifetimes.” He raised his Dickel. Doc raised his Dickel. Vi was empty handed, so reached over the bar and grabbed herself a handle of Dickel.
The three laughed and toasted one another.
“To Vi’s Two Point Oh!”
I’m excited to let you know I’m now working on a series of what I call Weekend Readers - shorter books you can enjoy over one weekend - featuring Chief Walton Cedar as he and his team solve mysteries surrounding Tennessee’s distilleries. The usual Tullahoma folks will be included, and there’ll be some new names, too. “The Whiskey Chronicles - Part I” is beginning soon, and you can read each chapter as I write it. More details coming soon!